How to become a Successful Single Parent
To be a successful single parent can be overwhelming especially if you just recently became divorced. Even for those of us who have been single parents from the very beginning are often weighed down by how much we have to do alone, the financial obligations, school obligations, emotional obligations and all what not’s. It requires a lot of willpower to get by, if you take it one day at a time, you will be fine and a successful single parent. You will look back in time and be like, oh yes I did it. And if you follow these tips devotedly, you might even have some fun while you are it. Yes, parenting can be fun, single parent or not. In fact there are some pros your situation comes with, like not having to brush every single opinions by your partner.
Tips to become a Successful Single Parent:
Find time to talk to your kids about this. Be honest with them about how things are going to be different but how you are going to do everything to make sure they don’t have to suffer for your decisions. Tell them, “It’s going to be a bit hard at first but we will get through it together.” Encourage them to talk about their feelings, When you have established this, ensure that their routine doesn’t change. Having a consistent routine will instill a sense of security on your kids. Let their bedtime, meal time or wake up time remain consistent. Don’t try to compensate by letting them stay up late at night.
Single parents tend to over pamper their kids in trying to compensate for the absence of the other parent. Don’t do this. You will just end up spoiling them and growing them into individuals who are not self confident. Let them make some mistakes and learn from it. Teach them how to solve their own problems instead of jumping right in and doing it to for them. Scold them when they are wrong and encourage them when they do right. In whatever they do, what is important is for them to know that you are always there for them.
Parenting can be tiring sometimes, single parenting the most. Don’t feel bad when you get that need to escape in your head from time to time. It’s normal. Allow them to go for sleep overs with approved friends. Also ensure that you have a support system like your family and friends with whom you can drop them off for a while and go for an evening out with friends or dates or even a weekend vacation by yourself. It will help you be more refreshed and a successful single parent for your kids.
Your kids should know that you are always proud of them no matter what. Be their biggest cheerleader. Remind them of how beautiful they are every other day. When they do well at school and at their home chores, take them out for a treat or do something special for them at home. Even when they do badly, still get them some gifts appreciating them for trying. Then talk to them about trying even harder. And how you are very sure of their capability. Don’t hold back on helping them succeed too. Even if it means extra lessons, enforcing on them a reading culture or making sure they go to bed earlier.
You are the parent here. They should know that you are their best friend and they can come to you for anything, they will be punished for bad behavior. Such punishment should be strict and most times non-negotiable. That way they would know that no one is above the law and they can’t trick their way out of facing the consequences of their bad decisions. Teach them to know that you are the parent and thus you are wiser. And that you are the manager and director of the house all at once.
To be a successful single parent you have to take responsibility for a lot more than you previously ever handled. It’s an overwhelming task considering you have to manage the finances, office job, maintaining the household and taking care of the children. That’s when you need to take some time to setting up your priorities right. By doing this you can minimize the stress of so many responsibilities on have on you. You have to consider the time factor while doing this, assign proper timings of each after analyzing them. Always good to have one helping hand especially when it’s your own child. By delegating some of the simple responsibilities to your children you will get some valid spare time and the children will feel more responsible.
Spending time with your children will help in stabilizing their emotions affected by the divorce, and you can ensure to them that you will do everything to get the things will get better. Spending some quality time will allow you to get closer to them and make them feel the warmth of togetherness. Spend good time with your kids; talking to them and listening to them in equal measures. Find ways to always hold their hands, hug them, kiss them, wipe their tears, and carry them in your arms. Studies show that touching helps to foster love, improve relationships and cure depression.
Last of all, don’t talk bad about your former spouse to your kids. You will only make them feel like they have to choose between you two. They don’t have to really, except if your ex is abusive and therefore dangerous. But teach them to forgive and move on. And they can only do this if you do so yourself. Otherwise don’t bring your kids into your squabbles. It’s between you and your partner. Showing them the ugly side of your divorce or separation will only make them grow into kids who have little or no faith in the concepts of love, relationships and marriages.